Well its finally time. Not that I was counting down or anything… I think it’s finally come time that I take a trip with my friends instead of my family. I don’t get intimidated by airports or hotel check-ins, yet my 24-year old sister still does. My parents joked a couple days ago that Cobie (little brother) and I should stay in the “lower standard” hotels to shock us of what we have. As I was meagerly interested of pondering about the scenario and offended, it got me excited to prove them wrong. I am very thankful for all my father’s hard work gets me. But I believe I can enjoy myself with very much less. It pisses me off when people think I’m just a little rich boy with all the stereotypes to go with. I do enjoy the finer things in life. I love the 4 star restaurants and being able to go to the W after, but I am fine with a salad in a tent by the beach. Who knows I may enjoy it more. It would be a change for sure; my family never does outdoors activities. Dad says, “Why go outdoors when I already pay for air conditioning.” It’s crazy to me, but at the same time I can understand where he is coming from. He spends almost 20 hours a day 5 to 6 days a week suffering so we can have some off time. So how can I blame him for wanting to go to nicest place he can think of instead of going fishing. I just think, as a family, we could bond more if we did more than move some luggage bags around.
As of right now I am supposed to be making a decision. Thee decision I should call it. It seems like the only thing that matters right now. “What are you gunna do, Bo?” “ You got it nailed down yet there, Bo?” “Where you gunna go on your mission, Bo?” “When do you leave, Bo?” My dad treats it like a business choice. I know there’s a lot more big decision I’ll have to make in the future, but this isn’t the difference between investing or selling your stocks. This is the big kahuna! I could try my heart out at basketball, but even questioning that very claim makes my chances that much smaller. Most athletes like me are suppose to have limitless determination; a never say never mentality. And I don’t know if I have all of that. I mean at 19 I am old for a basketball prospect, and I can’t even win a dang 3-point contest. It pisses myself off that I can’t get a lead; I can’t feel like I’m good at something anymore. In high school, I felt basketball was that one thing I was good at. Sure I could make a sauce, or dance the tango, but I knew I was better than anyone at what I did. Now I’m just mediocre at just about everything. That’s why I can’t find what I want to do in life cause I don’t have something that I’m truly good at; something I was ‘born to do’. So if I were to go on a mission, I’m scared I would tear myself up because I don’t know thing about what I’m doing other than letters I get from people out on the field already. Who knows if I can really do it myself? I can barely read the scriptures out loud. Yet I’m willing to take on the challenge to do something totally out of my comfort zone. There’s testimony after testimony of the benefits of a mission, but those come from the church itself only. How am I to know how it’s really going to affect me? I still don’t know what I’m going to say when he remembers our agreement, but right now I’m leaning toward going. I always love the challenge, and I trust my friends’ opinions. All will be well if I have faith. I think it will be good for me. I really don’t have a plan and my dad is dying for an answer. Heavenly Father be with me J.
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